


for a moment

by kontj (kaguol)



Series: hydrangeas [21]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, catching feelings, when you shouldnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:03:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28288158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaguol/pseuds/kontj
Summary: is it really a fair arrangement when he’s falling in love?
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Reader
Series: hydrangeas [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031949
Kudos: 29





	for a moment

sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow into his room.

for a moment, he basked in the warmth of his sheets and of the person sleeping next to him. for a moment, he felt himself be brave enough to close the distance between their bodies, daring to wrap his arms around their frame.

for a moment, Kenma let himself believe that this was love.

you squirmed, and he fears that the fantasy has been shattered before it even began, your body realizing the err of the situation. that, even unconscious, you knew that this was all pretend. so he loosened his grip, hearing his fragile heart break a little bit more.

you did pull away from his grasp – only to turn around and burrow your face into his chest.

if you had been awake, you would’ve heard his heart cry out for yours. if you had been awake, you would’ve seen the tears stream down his cheeks though he kept his eyes shut. yet, he did nothing to rouse you.

had he been a little more selfish, he would’ve. but right now, he was content with holding you closer, a hand raking through your hair as you melted into the embrace, a sot sigh escaping your parted lips.

he shut his eyes, and let his mind drift, trying to recall the exact moment he had fallen in love with you. it was sometime after the two of you agreed to this arrangement – a night of hungry eyes and touch-starved skin.

perhaps it had been around the time when you had arrived into his apartment and saw the mess behind his eyes, and forced a proper meal into his system. it had resulted into a night of tangled limbs, but there was a softness in your touches then.

perhaps it was when he had met you outside of your escapades, into a quaint little coffee shop to pay you back for a favor he couldn’t remember. maybe it was when you threw your head back laughing at an offhand comment, showing off your collarbones and the marks that had started to vanish (which he quickly retraced with his tongue).

perhaps it was neither – perhaps it wasn’t a specific event, but a collection of the little moments you shared.

you had spent more than enough time without clothes on that he had traced every corner of your body with his tongue. he knew the subtle changes in behavior, in the tiny reactions that even you yourself weren’t aware of.

the way your eyes would flutter shut when he marked the inside of your thigh, the way your mouth would curl devilishly as you eased yourself onto him, the way your arm would close around his wrist as you rode out your high.

perhaps it was the way you called out his name, drawing it out between your lips as though pardoning every sin he has made. perhaps it was the way your eyes locked into his – staring up into the secrets he himself hasn’t found.

birdsong interrupted his train of thought, and he rose, blinking away the last remainder of sleep. his room had grown warm, and the stuffy air sent his curtains billowing.

he stood, turning to the mirror to inspect the marks of the night prior.

if not for the pain his limbs and the bruises on his chest, he wouldn’t have believed that it had happened.

for an empty bed and a hollow heart would have trouble believing that for a moment, Kenma forgave himself for loving you.


End file.
